I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.

A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it.

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.

It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense

I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return

Perfect grammar - persistent, continuous, sustained - is the fourth dimension, so to speak; many have sought it, but none has found it.

Honesty: The best of all the lost arts.