In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore, in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long, seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.

Life is short, break the rules.

But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.

There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence.