Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

The soul and substance of what customarily ranks as patriotism is moral cowardice -- and always has been.

Each season brings a world of enjoyment and interest in the watching of its unfolding, its gradual harmonious development, its culminating graces-and just as one begins to tire of it, it passes away and a radical change comes, with new witcheries and new glories in its train.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

Very well, then, where do we arrive? Where do we arrive with our respect, our homage, our filial affection? At Adam! At Adam, every time. We can't build a monument to a germ, but we can build one to Adam, who is in the way to turn myth in in fifty years and be entirely forgotten in two hundred. We can build a monument and save his name to the world forever, and we'll do it!

What marriage is to morality, a properly conducted licensed liquor traffic is to sobriety.

[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.