If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired.
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.