I thoroughly believe that any man who's got anything worthwhile to say will be heard if he only says it often enough.

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven....The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

But old fools is the biggest fools there is.

Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.