All publishers are Columbuses. The successful author is their America. The reflection that they-like Columbus-didn't discover what they expected to discover, and didn't discover what they started out to discover, doesn't trouble them. All they remember is that they discovered America; they forget that they started out to discover some patch or corner of India.

Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'

Tight pants are just uncomfortable.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.

An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war.