Never run after you own hat - others will be delighted to do it; why spoil their fun?
I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.
Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome; in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.