Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: "Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.

[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.

If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.

I admire him, I frankly confess it; and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.