Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.

We all know about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

You have noticed that the human being is a curiosity. In times past he has had (and worn out and flung away) hundreds and hundreds of religions; today he has hundreds and hundreds of religions, and launches not fewer than three new ones every year. I could enlarge on that number and still be within the facts.

Learning to play two pairs is worth about as much as a college education, and about as costly.

It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.

When you catch an adjective, kill it - perhaps the best possible advice for budding writers.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.