Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.

Love heightens all senses - except the common.

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

For a male person bric-a-brac hunting is about as robust a business as making doll-clothes.

What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.

The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception.

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.