Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?

There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one?

We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy; that watches over their dignity; that focuses their vision true--humor.

The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.

We teach them to take their patriotism at second-hand; to shout with the largest crowd without examining into the right or wrong of the matter -- exactly as boys under monarchies are taught and have always been taught. We teach them to regard as traitors, and hold in aversion and contempt, such as do not shout with the crowd, and so here in our democracy we are cheering a thing which of all things is most foreign to it and out of place -- the delivery of our political conscience into somebody else's keeping. This is patriotism on the Russian plan.