No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there.

Whatever a man's age, he can reduce it several years by putting a bright-colored flower in his button-hole.

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

A marriage...makes of two fractional lives a whole; it gives to two purposeless lives a work, and doubles the strength of each to perform it; it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living, and something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.