When in doubt, tell the truth. That maxim I did invent, but never expected it to be applied to me. I did say, "When you are in doubt," but when I am in doubt myself I use more sagacity.
Mark TwainYou have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool.
Mark TwainIf science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits break into grateful advertising-raptures and call attention to how good he is. Yes, he has done it. Perhaps he waited a thousand years before doing it. They forget to say that he is the slowest mover in the universe, that his Eye That Never Sleeps, might as well, since it takes a century to see what any other eye can see in a week.
Mark TwainIntellectual ''work'' is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
Mark Twain