My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.

Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.

If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.

...mastery of the art and spirit of the Germanic language enables a man to travel all day in one sentence without changing cars.

I wish to become rich, so that I can instruct the people and glorify honest poverty a little, like those kind hearted, fat, benevolent people do.

A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get caught again.

If all men were rich, all men would be poor.