One thing you might want to learn before you attend the world's largest ukulele lesson is how to say ukulele.

Don't waste your time on jealousy.

A line from one of my 1997 columns - 'Do one thing every day that scares you' - is now widely attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, though I have yet to see any evidence that she ever said it and I don't believe she did. She said some things about fear, but not that thing.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you'll have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either of them might run out.

Alcohol, contrary to instinct, is not the secret to happiness.

TV happens. And once it's happened, it's gone. When it's gone, you move on, no tears, no tantrums, no videotape

The secret to happiness, at Thanksgiving or any time, is to find pleasure in imperfection.