I don't think people realize, when they're just getting started on an eating disorder or even when they're in the grip of one, that it is not something that you just "get over." For the vast majority of eating-disordered people, it is something that will haunt you for the rest of your life. You may change your behavior, change your beliefs about yourself and your body, give up that particular way of coping in the world. You may learn, as I have, that you would rather be a human than a human's thin shell. You may get well. But you never forget.
Marya HornbacherSome people who are obsessed with food become gourmet chefs. Others become eating disorders.
Marya HornbacherMy brain sometimes departs from the agreed-upon reality, and my private reality is a very lonely place. But in the end, I'm not sure I wish I'd never gone there.
Marya HornbacherThere's childhood and early onset bipolar, but it transitions in your early adulthood into something a little bit different, and extremely severe. It was at that time that my impulse control just went out the window. Impulse control when you're manic just disappears.
Marya HornbacherRecovery isnโt easy, at first. It takes time. It takes more work, sometimes, than you think youโre willing to do. But it is worth every hard day, every tear, every terrified moment. Itโs worth it, because the trade-off is this: you let go of your eating disorder, and you get back your life.
Marya Hornbacher