Jokes are unanswerable objections.

The Ancient Mariner seizes the guest at the wedding feast and will not let go until he has told all his story: the prototype of the bore.

Well-behaved: he always speaks as if his mother might be listening.

Vicarious living is only slightly less impossible than vicarious eating.

If I can't serve as a role model, let me serve as a warning.

I dream of summing everything up in the greatest sentence ever written.

To be a social success, do not act pathetic, arrogant, or bored. Do not discuss your unhappy childhood, your visit to the dentist,the shortcomings of your cleaning woman, the state of your bowels, or your spouse's bad habits. You will be thought a paragon (or perhaps a monster) of good behavior.