If you want your hair to be thicker, cut it when the moon is about to be full - a heavy, full, waxing moon. Do not cut it when the moon's waning.

Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius.

You know who it is? It's me in 10 years. So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and says, 'So, are you a hero?' And I was like, 'not even close. No, no, no.' She said, 'Why?' I said, 'Because my hero's me at 35.' So you see every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero's always 10 years away. I'm never gonna be my hero. I'm not gonna attain that. I know I'm not, and that's just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.

I never go online on my iPhone. Sometimes I'm tempted but I remind myself and the kids - it's a tool. Use it as a tool. You're not the tool. My iPhone, 85% of the time I'm writing down ideas.

I like quips. I like whiffs of cynicism and I think they can be witty. But I don't really know where wittiness is constructive.

As an actor for hire, my job is to do some pre-production work for myself. Then my job is to show up and give the best performance I can.

I work through life with commas. I don't even know, do you have parentheticals?