Personally, I've decided to stop evolving.

Paul Ryan, who teamed up with Akin in the House to sponsor harsh anti-abortion bills, may look young and hip and new generation, with his iPod full of heavy metal jams and his cute kids. But he's just a fresh face on a Taliban creed - the evermore antediluvian, anti-women, anti-immigrant, anti-gay conservative core. Amiable in khakis and polo shirts, Ryan is the perfect modern leader to rally medieval Republicans who believe that Adam and Eve cavorted with dinosaurs.

I think the evangelicals think they're in a holy war now.

And as far as doing God's work, I think the bankers who took government money and then gave out obscene bonuses are the same self-interested sorts Jesus threw out of the temple.

Women have become so obsessed with not withering, they've forgotten that there are infinite ways to be beautiful.

Personally, I've decided to stop evolving.

Women are affected by lunar tides only once a month; men have raging hormones every day.