The Obamas, especially Michelle, have radiated the sense that Americans do not appreciate what they sacrifice by living in a gilded cage. They've forgotten Rule No. 1 of politics: No one sheds tears for anyone lucky enough to live at the White House.

Women are affected by lunar tides only once a month; men have raging hormones every day.

Personally, I've decided to stop evolving.

For two centuries, the South has feared a takeover by blacks or the feds. In Obama, they have both.

Are women necessary? Not with Ava around

Reagan didn't socialize with the press. He spent his evenings with Nancy, watching TV with dinner trays. But he knew that to transcend, you can't condescend.

We are riveted by the soap operas of public lives. We admire the famous most for what makes them infamous: it reassures us that they are not better and no happier than all the people with their noses pressed hard against the glass.