It was like the entire world was colluding to make me feel insane, and it was doing a really good job.

She wasn't only gay, she was a gay elf.

Stuart must have sensed my despair from the way I began lightly banging my forehead on the table.

Also, when on a campaign to convince a stranger that you aren't a few fries short of a Happy Meal, throwing around phrases like "tangentially Swedish" is not the best way to go.

When I worked in theater, I was always writing things on Post-it Notes and sticking them on screens or desks. Twitter has given me a way of continuing to post those notes, only a lot of other people see them, too.

A woman who shaves or otherwise depilates her pubic curls has a profound interest in recreational sex.

Being an author means, almost by definition, that you make up characters and then complicate their lives. That's it, really. You make up characters and give them problem after problem after problem.