Ah," he said. "I had an . . . artistic disagreement with the director of the panto. As it happens, I take issue with the objectification of women in Cinderella, and the reliance on shoes as a means of identification. Surely you understand.

We Deveauxs preferred to talk you to death, rather than face you in physical combat.

It was clearly one of those mornings when I was particularly American.

You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.

But we made our own fun, mostly. I recall a time, many years later, when American children seemed unable to amuse themselves without a fortune in electrical and electronic equipment. We had no fancy equipment and did not miss it.

Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.

English rain feels obligatory, like paperwork. It dampens already damn days and slicks the stones.