I read two mysteries a day when I was a kid. All of Agatha Christie, all of 'Sherlock Holmes.' I've seen every single British detective show ever made.

Harry Potter achieved a very special act of actual magic: it made it completely acceptable for an adult to carry around, read and enjoy a childrens book.

It makes you very cool," he said, taking big, jumping steps to get in front of me. "CNN would interview you, for sure. Daughter of Flobie! But don't worry. I'll keep them back!

Go see old virgins! Now ask a strange boy out, you shy, Retarded thing!

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want," he said. "Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison.

Stuart must have sensed my despair from the way I began lightly banging my forehead on the table.

I guess life is full of maybes.