Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want," he said. "Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison.

Even though she had been warned, she tripped over the bike. She probably tripped because she'd been warned and was telling herself not to trip over the bike. She did that sometimes. It was often easier not to know what obstacles were in the way.

I decided to deflect her attitude by giving a long, Southern answer. I come from people who know how to draw things out. Annoy a Southerner, and we will drain away the moments of your life with our slow, detailed replies until you are nothing but a husk of your former self and that much closer to death.

I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.

Also, when on a campaign to convince a stranger that you aren't a few fries short of a Happy Meal, throwing around phrases like "tangentially Swedish" is not the best way to go.