Incongruity is the mainspring of laughter.

I may be old fashioned, but I am right.

Some people are born to lift heavy weights, some are born to juggle golden balls.

To give an accurate and exhaustive account of that period would need a far less brilliant pen than mine.

Strange when you come to think of it, that of all countless folk who have lived on this planet, not one is known in history or in legend as having died of laughter.

It is a part of English hypocrisy or English reserve, that whilst we are fluent enough in grumbling about small inconveniences, we insist on making light of any great difficulties or grief's that may beset us.

Have you noticed ... there is never any third act in a nightmare? They bring you to a climax of terror and then leave you there. They are the work of poor dramatists.