Undergraduates owe their happiness chiefly to the consciousness that they are no longer at school. The nonsense which was knocked out of them at school is all put gently back at Oxford or Cambridge.

You will find that the woman who is really kind to dogs is always one who has failed to inspire sympathy in men.

Every one, even the richest and most munificent of men, pays much by cheque more light-heartedly than he pays little in specie.

Nobody ever died of laughter.

There is much to be said for failure. It is more interesting than success.

I believe the twenty-four hour day has come to stay.

Have you noticed ... there is never any third act in a nightmare? They bring you to a climax of terror and then leave you there. They are the work of poor dramatists.