And now Rocky is begging me to watch Dora the Explorer with him. I understand that millions of kids love Dora and have learned to read or whatever from her show. But I wouldn't mind if Dora fell off a cliff and took her little pals with her

But it’s there. Just because I haven’t told anyone doesn’t mean it isn’t there, all the time, lurking in the back of my mind, like one those NSync songs you can’t get out of your head.

You'll blow up a helicopter, but you won't go out with me? What is wrong with you?

Cal: “Could you write a little bigger? I’m not sure China saw that.” Every Boy's Got One

The peace sign is with two fingers not one.

But once I'd come up with it, I realized it really was the perfect plan. Instead of waiting for Maria to come to me, I was simply going to go to her and, well... Send her back to where she came. Or reduce her to a mound of quivering gelatinous goo. Whichever came first.

Lilly says I have an overactive imagination and a pathological need to invent drama in my life.