I really wanted to be veterinarian, but I got a 410 on my math SATs.

It's truly weird how everyone just thinks they can bring me Diet Coke and everything will be okay. Especially since it's pretty much true.-Lizzie Nichols

I wish I had taken Spanish instead of French in high school. I could eavesdrop on a lot more conversations on the subway if I knew Spanish.

And try to remember what we discussed, Susannah. A mediator is someone who helps others resolve conflicts. Not someone who, er, kicks them in the face.

You’re not a one hundred dollar bill, not everyone is going to like you.

I can't kill someone!" "You hit your brother in the head with a fire extinguisher." "But that was family! And I didn't kill him.

Why can't you just get married in Las Vegas like normal Americans?