I look around for a conveniently loaded pistol.Sadly, there doesn't seem to be one available, so I have no choice but to answer the question. - Queen of Babble Gets Hitched

I just want to let you know that when I look into my future, I see nothing but you.” That’s what Chaz had whispered in my ear at some point during the wedding last night. Then he’d whispered. “And you’re not even wearing Spanx.

But once I'd come up with it, I realized it really was the perfect plan. Instead of waiting for Maria to come to me, I was simply going to go to her and, well... Send her back to where she came. Or reduce her to a mound of quivering gelatinous goo. Whichever came first.

Why should women have to fit into child sizes in order to be considered desirable? That is both sick and depressing.

I get accused all the time of having a big mouth. But if you ask me, guys gossip way more than girls do.

My favorite book of all time is Cold Comfort Farm, by Stella Gibbons.

How is it that I'd nearly been smothered to death, and yet I could sit there and notice things like my stepbrother's abdominal muscles a few minutes later?