Michael has never cried during a Broadway show. Except in that scene where Tarzan's ape father is brutally murdered. And that was only because he was laughing so hard.

What's the point? was my attitude. We're all just going to die and then NOT be let on the boat.

Looks can be deceiving.

Whatever. Boris, must you constantly breathe on me?

Adam gave me a scandalized look. "Fraternizing with the enemy!" he cried. "For shame, wench!

It's what's known as an origin myth. What happened to me? That's no myth.

I don't do alcohol. Or other people's boyfriends. And don't you forget it.