I'm not much like my mother; that role falls to my brothers, who have more of her blithe and freewheeling spirit.

A mother is beyond any notion of a beginning. That's what makes her a mother.

Be patient with yourself. Don't make the loss harder by thinking you should be a certain way, or have bounced back, etc.

Suddenly it was fall, the season of death, the anniversary of things-going-to-hell.

Loss doesn't feel redeemable. But for me one consoling aspect is the recognition that, in this at least, none of us is different from anyone else: We all lose loved ones; we all face our own death.

It's a blessing not to be alone in your grief but it's also painful to see your parents and siblings in pain.

My mother never liked Mother's Day. She thought it was a fake holiday dreamed up by Hallmark to commodify deep sentiments that couldn't be expressed with a card.