Jewish women are very exciting, as exciting sexually as any other group. Even so, my advice to a young man marrying a Jewish girl would be to have three and a half years of foreplay. Of course, most girls in every group are reserved about getting down to it. They don't usually do it right away. But once they do it, women are bananas. They don't wanna do it, you can't make them do it, there's no way they'll do it - but once they do it, they don't let you alone.

I was in the army, and to me it was like a newsreel.

Nothing is free. You got to pay to be in society. First you start with homework.

I love spaghetti and sex, sometimes together. My dream of heaven is walking naked through fields of pasta fazool.

Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.

Judd Apatow is pretty good, both as a producer and as a director.

We rest our case on the production numbers.