Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.

I'm still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up.

I love spaghetti and sex, sometimes together. My dream of heaven is walking naked through fields of pasta fazool.

I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting.

No creative writer knows what is commercial and what isn't. You just write from your heart, you write from the deepest, creative urges in you, and you write from your soul, and you just either get lucky or not.

I was born on the kitchen table. We were so poor my mother couldn't afford to have me; the lady next door gave birth to me.

You cannot have fun with anything that you don't love or admire or respect.