We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.
You want to be as smart as you can about being stupid.
If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.
You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself.
Tolstoy was the most gifted writer who ever lived. It's like he stuck a pen in his heart and it didn't even go through his mind on its way to the page.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.