You want to be as smart as you can about being stupid.

I was out in the combat engineers. We would throw up bridges in advance of the infantry but mainly we would just throw up.

You're young forever when you write. Alfred Hitchcock directed until the day he died. As long as you don't have any dementia or Alzheimer's, if you have your All-Bran every day and clear yourself out, I think your brains are gonna be all right.

I'm still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up.

I knew it... I'm surrounded by assholes!

When we got to our hotel rooms, mosquitoes as big as George Foreman were waiting for us. They were sitting in armchairs with their legs crossed.

We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.