I have always had a lot more trouble with my truths than with my deceits

Alcohol is a very patient drug. It will wait for the alcoholic to pick it up one more time.

I've always had bronchitis. I've been administered the Sacrament of Death three times for it

My name is real, which probably explains why I never became a superstar... how would that look in lights?

At awards time, The Exorcist was nominated in 11 categories, everybody but the janitor was up for an Oscar. There was no category for what I did.

I have reached a state in life where I can buy a whole house full of chairs and can bump into them until they are black and blue

I believe in joy, but I believe in the flip-side, agony.