I spent two weeks prancing around a studio in Queens in my underwear with nine other guys. They were long days. But what the hell, it was Calvin Klein.

I began to believe the fairy tales: You know, how we're all out there looking for our magical missing half.

A father's disappointment can be a very powerful tool.

My father was a sergeant with the Connecticut state police. My mother was a hairstylist.

The fact is, my parents loved me, and I wanted to be worthy of their love. I wanted to make them proud.

I guess that's what I was: a set of abs. And they lit the abs and shot the abs and sent the abs on their way. The photographer didn't look at my face once. I was humiliated.

I was going to get the Carolyn Bessette story out of her one way or another.