Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell.

Obsession is a young man's game, and my only excuse is that I never grew old.

My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.

This is your life, Larry. Learn to enjoy what you've got.

I was in Korea. I've noticed all my life I see elderly people who have been close to death in an illness and they're absolutely cured and they say, now I know how to live my life. I've seen death. That happened to me when I was 19. It was a terrible, terrifying thing. And I live my life like those people decided to do when they were old. So, since I was 19, I've had the most fun possible every single day, even when I had a rough life. It was the army which taught me about life, and the theater which taught me how good it could be.

In my opinion, everybody is getting older and older. We have a great deal of dementia because nobody grew old enough to get it.

To be a movie star, you have to invent yourself.