Now that I exist in the mainstream majority, I'm not really so controversial any more, am I? Not really news.

Oprah's got good politics, she's got a good heart, and she'll have us all up Jazzercising at six in the morning. This cannot be a bad thing, and reading a book while we're Jazzercising. So America would be better off if Oprah were president.

How do you deliver democracy to a country? You don't do it down the barrel of a gun. That's not how you deliver it.

If we say, 'The government sucks,' we're kind of saying that we suck.

You know we are flawed people, so if someone is going to make a movie about me, they don't have to make it up. My real flaws are much funnier.

I'm going to guess Republicans and Democrats, liberals and conservatives, all want clean air to breathe and clean water to drink. I'm sure most people think women should be paid the same as men if they're doing the same job. I think we all want good schools for our kids. If we made that list, we actually are in agreement on more things.

I certainly believe that I have no right to tell another couple whether they can or cannot be married.