People of my age who went to college, go into college, you know what it cost back then? Nothing or next to nothing. At the most, you had to work at Dairy Queen during the summer and that would pay for your college education.

How could a guy sitting in a cave in Afghanistan, have... plotted so perfectly the hijacking of four planes and then guaranteed that three of them would end up precisely on their targets?

One day there'll be no need for me. I'm actually hoping to put myself out of business.

How can there be inaccuracy in comedy?

I assume everything I'm saying in an email or saying on the telephone is being looked at.

This is the crux of the problem: because the Republicans and the right wing have been successful in almost eliminating unions, everyone else has suffered as a result.

By the end of the millenium five men controlled the world's media. And the people rejoiced, because their TVs told them to.