I am very athletic, actually, and I'm good at most sports. But I was never a successful athlete, because I have a lot of trouble with authority. To be a good athlete, you have to have sort of a military attitude. You have to enjoy being coached, and that was not something I ever liked. But more than that, I don't like practice, and coaches hate anybody that doesn't like practice. If you saw me throwing a football, you'd say, "Wow, he knows how to throw a football." But put me on a field, I'm not gonna stand out.

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too.

Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing "classical" comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.

I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

I know more about sports than I know about any other subject, unfortunately. I'm embarrassed to admit that.

I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world.