That's the thing that most people don't realize. In real life, comedians aren't funny. They save it. They save it up.

I feel like marriage is a sacred institution that should only be between a man and a woman. If a gay couple wants to be married, why can't they just be satisfied with a civil union? Why do they have to get "married"?

Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing "classical" comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

That's the thing that most people don't realize. In real life, comedians aren't funny. They save it. They save it up.

I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet.

I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too.