Let me tell something, seeing your name and psychiatric ward on the same piece of paper isn't the best way to start your day.

Personally, I think they killed the bear because they were afraid of it. That s what people do, kill the things they re afraid of.

It's a really crappy feeling to realize that your entire outook on your life can be controlled by some little pill that looks like a Pez, and that some weird combination of drugs can make your brain think it's on a holiday somewhere really sweet when you're standing naked in the middle of the school cafeteria while everyone takes pictures of you. Metaphorically. Or whatever.

If you ever manage to become perfect, you have to die instantly before you ruin things for everyone else.

It's like whoever sits up ther in Heaven had this big bag of really crappy stuff, and once or twice a day she or he reaches in and sprinkles a little bit of it over the world and it makes everything go crazy, like fairy dust that's past its expiration date.

That sounds weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you.

And it’s not like I’ve never jacked off. I’m fifteen years old. Of course I do it. Any guy who says he doesn’t is lying. That would be like having the coolest video game ever and never playing it. No one’s that stupid.