Let me tell something, seeing your name and psychiatric ward on the same piece of paper isn't the best way to start your day.
Michael Thomas FordOnce you realise there's nothing to be afraid of when you die, there's nothing else to worry about.
Michael Thomas FordNow I just have these reddish scars there. I guess I always will, although Goody says theyโll fade over time. I donโt know if I want them to fade. That probably sounds totally freaky, but part of me doesnโt want to forget what it felt like, even though it hurt. If I forget about the pain, I might also forget that it was a really stupid idea to do it in the first place.
Michael Thomas FordI'm still kind of a mess. But I think we all are. No one's got it all together. I don't think you ever do get it totally together. Probably if you did manage to do it you'd spontaneously combust. I think that's a law of nature. If you ever manage to become perfect, you have to die instantly before you ruin things for everyone else.
Michael Thomas FordIโve been thinking about that ever since. Am I lucky? Am I lucky that I didnโt die? Am I lucky that, compared to the other kids here, my life doesnโt seem so bad? Maybe I am, but I have to say, I donโt feel lucky. For one thing, Iโm stuck in this pit. And just because your life isnโt as awful as someone elseโs, that doesnโt mean it doesnโt suck. You canโt compare how you feel to the way other people feel. It just doesnโt work. What might look like the perfect lifeโor even an okay lifeโto you might not be so okay for the person living it.
Michael Thomas FordHow come someone always saves the people who try to kill themselves and then makes them tell everyone how sorry they are for ruining their evening? I keep feeling like everyone wants me to apologize for something. but I'm not going to. I don't have anything to apologize for. They're the ones who screwed everything up. Not me. I didn't ask to be saved.
Michael Thomas Ford