I know all about dreams that make you want to scream.

I know all about dreams that make you want to scream.

No one in France cares if you tried to kill yourself. In fact, I think they like you better because you're all tragic.

One time Allie and I skipped school and went to see this foreign film called Los Diablos, where these villagers found a glowing blue ball and peeled pieces off of it to see what was inside. Only the ball was really radioactive, and they all died from the poison. I think that’s what happens when you look too deep inside for the truth. The poison comes out, and you die, even though you have beautiful glowing pieces of blue truth in your fingers.

Now I just have these reddish scars there. I guess I always will, although Goody says they’ll fade over time. I don’t know if I want them to fade. That probably sounds totally freaky, but part of me doesn’t want to forget what it felt like, even though it hurt. If I forget about the pain, I might also forget that it was a really stupid idea to do it in the first place.

That sounds weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you.

Why is it that you have to warn people about who you are?