The world changes too fast. You take your eyes off something that's always been there, and the next minute it's just a memory.

And you know what people immediately start looking for, five minutes after they arrive someplace new? You know what's on their minds? I'll tell you: How are they gonna get laid, and where are they gonna find some mind-altering substances.

History indulges strange whims in the way it dresses its women.

Participating in Society in not a thing one can do naturally; one has to rehearse for it.

But miracles are not for the asking; they come only when the stern eyes of God droop shut for a moment, and Our Lady takes advantage of His inattention to grant an illicit mercy. God...is an Anglican, whereas Our Lady is of the True Faith; the two of Them have an uneasy relationship, unable to agree on anything, except that if They divorce, the Devil will leap gleefully into the breach.

Most true things are kind of corny, don’t you think? But we make them more sophisticated out of sheer embarrassment.

Watch your step. Keep your wits about you; you will need them.