A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty; A Cub Fan wonders when it's gonna spill.

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

Anyone who gives a surgeon six thousand dollars for breast augmentation should give some thought to investing a little more in brain augmentation.

If God dislikes gays so much, how come he picked Michelangelo, a known homosexual, to paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling while assigning Anita Bryant to go on television and push orange juice?

Hollywood has always been political. They consider it their right and duty to tell us what is politically good and right.

Whether one eats a cat or not is a personal choice, and I don't want to sway anyone one way or another. But if you do, there is one obvious cooking tip: Always remember to remove the bell from the cat's collar before cooking.

Newspapers, magazines and other publications have the constitutional right to be offensive, even disgusting. As evidence of that, just watch this space regularly.