I'm gonna make sure you talk about me, and your grandkids and kids after that gonna know about me...your great grandkids will say "wow, wasn't that a bizarre individual?"

Ten years ago, if you asked me where I'd be now, I'd have said F-ing dead. But I'm not dead. I have an awesome life. And I'm just very grateful. That's the one thing I try to convey. Gratitude.

I'm not used to sensitivity any more. When I see people cry when I lose, save your tears. I don't know how to handle people crying any more. I lost my sensitivity like that. Please, you embarrass me when you cry because I don't know what to do when you cry. I don't know what to say.

One day some guy is going to get a billion-dollar fight.

When Jesus comes back, these crazy, greedy, capitalistic men are gonna kill him again.

Most writers, in my opinion, are dysfunctional derelicts.

He was screaming like my wife.