I would rather have someone read my diary than look at my iPod playlists.

I think as humans, no one remembers their successes, everyone just remembers their failures.

The overlap in the Venn diagram of things that men hate for women to wear and the things that I love to wear, it's almost a full overlap on the Venn diagram, which is unfortunate for me.

Catharsis isn't art. You can't rely on catharsis to get a laugh. Because guess what? People do laugh when something's shocking, but that is, to me, the absolute fakest of laughs. That's not something that sustains a television series, or a movie, or even 45 minutes of a stand-up set at Carolines.

I'm someone who loves romance. I always have loved it. Most people who grew up as nerds, as I was, surprisingly, have loved romance.

I would love if gay men responded to me. All I want is for many gay men to dress up as me for Halloween.

Listen, my body is attracted to your body but when you speak it makes my brain angry.