There are many teenage vampire books you could have purchased instead. I'm grateful you made this choice.

I don't want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat. I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.

When I was a kid, I would always write down lists of my favorite things and keep them in my wallet, just in case someone ever needed to know what my 10 favorite foods were, or my 10 favorite actors.

I’m Adorable. I Look like Keira Knightley Running Errands!

I have such a rich fantasy life, I can't help it. I do make up a lot of romantic stories in my head.

My whole childhood was like: Work hard, be quiet, respect elderly people, respect your parents, and just be unobtrusive.

I guess nothing puts a damper on a one-night stand as much as your friend pointing out all the opportunities where you might have been killed.