Something that's happened recently is that I don't beat myself up about stuff.

People seem to be having these awesome sex lives and I'm just trying to find a life partner to go apple picking with. What's wrong with me?

I think women in general like men that don't give them the thing that we want. We want a chase.

Catharsis isn't art. You can't rely on catharsis to get a laugh. Because guess what? People do laugh when something's shocking, but that is, to me, the absolute fakest of laughs. That's not something that sustains a television series, or a movie, or even 45 minutes of a stand-up set at Carolines.

I am the kind of person that is drawn to colors against my will.

That’s the one nice thing about being a dork about men: you can sometimes play it off as restrained and classy.

People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas.