It's hard to argue against cynics - they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side.

I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.

Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.

I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point--race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything.

the more a body tries to explode all the foolish myths that have grown up about Texas by telling the truth, the more a body will wind up adding to the mythology.

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented.

Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous.